I am... disturbed.

Top Ten Reasons Origami Godzilla is Cooler than Jesus
10. Turn the other cheek? NO! Eat the other cheek! RAWR! *stompstomp!*
9. Loaves and fishes? NO! Super-Atomic-Fire-Laser Breath! RAWR! *zap!*
8. Surmon on the Mount? NO! Flatten the Mount! RAWR! *stompstomp!*
7. Forget and forget? NO! Incinerate them all! RAWR! *fwoosh!*
6. Cool beard? NO! Cool tank-destroying tail! RAWR! *smash!*
5. Faced down Satan? NO! Faced down MECHA-SATAN! RAWR! *crashsmashBOOM!*
4. Kicked out the money-lenders? NO! Kicked out the Giant Cockroach Fuckers from Planet X! RAWR! *pimpslap!*
3. Walked on water? SO WHAT? Doesn't need to! Can walk the Ocean floor! *splashsplash!*
2. Son of God? AND? Spawn of man's irresponsible tampering with the atom! *zoop!*
And the number one reason Origami Godzilla is Cooler than Jesus is...
Beaten by the Romans? NO! Stomped the crap out of KING KONG, baby! *ookooksmack!*