doc_destructo

Ah, finally. Yet another short fiction entry for the deathless_pose community. This one centers around a couple characters from my 24-hour comic this year and the abandoned NaNoWriMo novel. Go Team Me. Even if it's not that great.

Going Home

Des was not happy. Looking between the undulating snake now towering an eye-popping sixty feet in front of him and the short redhead with a mallet and an eager grin, one probably didn't have to expend much energy as to why. Scales the size of hubcaps whispered as they writhed against one another in a dangerous rhythm. Leather creaked when gauntleted fists flexed and tightened. Des sighed and, were his attention not focused on the life-or-death situation before him, would have rubbed his temples.

"Why is it whenever I'm with you, disaster strikes," he said wearily. "With big letters and lots of exclamation points."

"I not of what you speak," the redhead said angling the small stone hammer back in preparation. After a moment's silent consideration, she turned to him. "You're not placing the blame for this on me, are you?"

"Gee, Thrud," Des said, rolling his eyes as though the massive snake (was it a copperhead? It looked like a copperhead) gained ever more stature. "I don't run into giant snakes when I'm not around you, so I doubt it's me."

"That is completely unjust!" she shouted.

"Maybe it would be if this weren't like the fourth giant snake we've come across."

Further retort was circumvented as the reptilian beast lunged at the two pre-teens in a storm of hissing venom and furious slithering.

Vaulting to the side, Des managed to tuck his landing into a roll and stand several feet from the targeted area. Brown eyes swiveled to see his companion jumping, not away from the snake, but towards its gaping maw. Despite the sheer insanity of such an action, Des didn't start to worry until after Thrud vanished down its sickeningly pink gullet, whole.

"Oh, that can't be good," he muttered, feeling his stomach twist and the acrid taste of bile trickle up his throat. His soft declaration, however, did not go unnoticed as the flat, enormous head lazily turned to focus on him. Attempting to swallow the lump in his throat, Des stood in rapt fascination as the behemoth slowly reared back for its strike...

"HA!"

...That never came. Instead of swift, cold-blooded death, Des was instead pelted with a rain of gore as Thrud burst through the creature's skull. Like a wolverine emerging from an egg, the girl battered and chipped away at her confines in a flurry of blood and snake bits. Painted in blood and swinging with abandon within and now atop the spasming snake, Thrud exulted in her violent victory.

Des wondered just how many cool points he'd lose if he vomited in front of his berserker girlfriend.

When at last there was absolutely no possibility of the monster being confused with solid matter again, much less attacking, Thrud sauntered over toward splattered boy. With a far too wide grin, she brushed the stray hair from her face. In slightly chipper voice, she asked, "Should we continue exploring, or take one of the fangs back to the boat?"

Des felt his face twitch, like he just might be having an aneurism. With a small grimace he told her, "I'm going home."

Not exactly thrilled with it, but it's something.